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You wake up on 19 December 2022 with a thumping headache, surrounded by discarded pots of vindaloo.

It’s snowing outside. In fact it hasn’t stopped snowing since Donald Trump ordered two billions tonnes of fake snow to be dropped from space.

Then it hits you. You wonder if you were just dreaming. You turn on the tele-hologram in your front room to check it actually happened. Yep, England really did win the World Cup yesterday.


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The likely lads

Of course this might all come as a bit of a shock.

So let’s jog your memory.

This is how England won the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.

The world’s first floating stadium

Handout – Getty

The world’s first floating stadium

Squad announcement

As expected, there were plenty of talking points when England’s co-managers Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard announced their squad for the World Cup.

Wayne Rooney’s continued revival at Salford City meant that he captained a youthful squad containing Premier League Golden Boot winner Rhian Brewster and Man City skipper Phil Foden.

Timmy Abraham beat his brother Tammy to the last striker spot, while Ryan and Steven Sessegnon were attempting to become the first brothers since Phil and Gary Neville to play for England at a World Cup.

But the stars of the show were undoubtedly Real Madrid’s Marcus Rashford and recent Ballon d’Or winner Harry Winks.

The heroes in waiting



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